Five Flirting Mistakes

by Jordan Harbinger,?The Art of Charm

Flirting separates the men who get laid from the men who go home alone. You need to get your game together and get an iPhone full of numbers. Ignoring this area of your game will have you spending another night in the meat locker bitching with your friends over a bottle. Flirting doesn?t just have to do with what you do — what you don?t do is just about as important. If you?re looking for five ways to up your pimp game, start by avoiding these five deadly sins of flirting.

Lack of Truth

You can totally exaggerate. You can totally fudge the truth. You can totally take a little creative liberty about your life when telling a story. Guess what? Chicks expect that from you. What they hate, though, is when you straight up lie to them. This might — and it?s a big ?might? — get a girl back to your place for the night, you shouldn’t use lies on anyone you?re hoping to ball more than once. The problem is that it?s hard to tell who that might be at the outset, so you?re better off skipping lying entirely. Trust us: There?s no way you?re going to remember the tangled web of bullshit you weaved the night before when the morning sun hits you. She will. We?re not really sure, but it just seems to be how chicks are.

Lack of Confidence

Confidence is the best commodity you have to sell the ladies. You know that acne-laden hipster in the ugly Christmas sweater and wispy?mustache? The reason he always has some impossibly hot girl on his arm is because he wipes his ass with confidence. The cool thing about confidence is that you can pretend to be confident and no one will know the difference. Best of all, when you start pretending to be confident, your brain starts believing that you are actually confidence. Take some initiative and never, ever say anything negative about yourself in front of the ladies.

Lack of Integrity

You know, the story about the time you got all coked up in Mexico and had some fun with a hooker who?didn’t?even make you pay is probably pretty awesome. Your homies love it. The girls you?re dating probably won?t be all that into it. Save your coolest stories for when you?re on a bender with the bros, not kicking game to the ladies. Women prefer men who have good character and integrity. The ones who don?t care about that sort of thing probably?aren’t?ones you should be dating anyway.

Lack of Independence

It?s called ?the game? and games are supposed to be fun. Having a flirt?isn’t?the same as shopping for furniture. Don?t think about the names of your future children or what you?re going to wear to the wedding. Have a bit of fun, flirt a bit and when the conversation starts to lag, excuse yourself and find someone else to talk to or something else to do. Don?t worry about it. She knows you?re there, she knows you?re interested and if she spends the rest of the night avoiding you, well at least you didn?t waste any more time. If she finds you later without you having to find her, that?s an excellent sign.

Lack of Being Over Your Ex

Do not ever ever ever volunteer information about your ex. Don?t bring her up at all. If she asks about previous relationships, speak of your ex in positive, reserved and polite terms. Otherwise, keep it to yourself. Talking about your ex is the herpes of flirting.

Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert and coach. He is the owner and co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company. If you dig this and want to learn more from Jordan and The Art of Charm team, then visit?


Image courtesy of marin /