How to Command A Room

by Jordan Harbinger, The Art of Charm

We all know a few guys who are at the center of attention almost immediately. The second they enter a room, all action revolves around them. Maybe they were born with it, but maybe it?s a set of skills they had to learn. There is such a thing as raw animal magnetism. For the rest of us, though, a commanding presence is little more than a set of skills you cultivate through careful attention. Follow our advice and you?ll be the center of attention wherever you go.

Keep Your Head High

Before you walk into a room picture this:?You’ve?got a 12? limp cock and a million bucks in the bank. Get yourself into that head space and milk the self-assurance. Why? Nothing attracts attention quite like a man with confidence. When you keep your head high from the second you walk into a room until the second you leave, people notice. It?doesn’t?matter if you?re faking it. You can start faking it well enough that no one can tell the difference.

Stand Tall

Standing up straight is a great way to project confidence. Slouching makes you appear shorter than you actually are, so there?s no reason for it. Another detriment of slouching is that it?doesn’t?display any confidence in yourself to the rest of the world. If you lack confidence in yourself, why should anyone else have confidence in you? If you want to stand up straight and tall without looking stiff, it?s easy. Think of a string attached to the top of your head, pulling your head, neck and spine upward. Then think of another string pulling down on the base of your spine anchoring you to the ground. Keep your head high, but your balls firmly rooted in the earth.

A great trick to remind yourself to do this is to check yourself every time you walk through a doorway. This will ensure you’re putting your best foot forward every time you step into a room.

Be The Master Of Your Domain

Having psychic or emotional control of a room is hard and requires mastery of some pretty subtle tricks. Getting physical control of a room is a lot easier. Sit down at the bar or table and start rearranging the things around you. This might sound silly, but it?s a powerful trick to play on your subconscious. You?re telling your subconscious brain that you?re in control of the room. This will do more than a thousand ?I?m good enough, I?m smart enough and gosh darn it, people like me? affirmations will ever accomplish.

Keep Eye Contact Going

Don?t stare at someone until you creep them out, but definitely maintain eye contact with people you?re talking to. This creates a sense of emotional, physical and intellectual intimacy between you and your verbal sparring partner. It also shows the other person that you have confidence. This is even more important for people who struggle with eye contact. Additionally, it will help you remember a person?s name. If you want to command a room, you?re going to need to remember people?s names, period.

For the rest of today and all of tomorrow, note the eye color of everyone you talk to in person. This will help ensure you’re making just the right amount of eye contact.

Be Interested In Others

Men who command a room show as much interest in the people they talk to as they do in themselves. Relationships of these kind are always transactional. Show that you are willing to give as well as get attention. Ask questions about the people you?re talking to: What do they do for a living? What city did they grow up in? Are they married? Do they have kids? Any pets at home? Where does their family live? Do they enjoy what they do for a living? What do they do for fun when they aren?t working? It keeps the conversation going and builds meaningful connections between you and other people in the room.

Compliment Others

Compliments are great for everyone. Make sure that they are genuine, tasteful and unforced. Ignore the silly pickup artist advice out there about telling girls how fat they are or how messed up their nails are. Rather, you need to find something that you genuinely like about the person you talk to, then tell them. You?ll instantly win legit brownie points with that person and they?ll also remember you better. You?d remember someone that complimented you,?wouldn’t?you, you handsome devil? Compliments to others pay dividends over time. Shine some light into someone else?s life and they?ll inevitably return the favor. And if they don?t, screw ?em.

Commanding Presence

Taking social command of any room that you?re in takes practice and time. Start small and build up. While you gear up your game, make sure to congratulate yourself for your own successes, even if they seem minor. It will help you to build confidence in your game and give you inner strength to keep at it when things aren?t going the way that you want them to. Nail this and you?ll be the life of the party sooner than you think.


Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert and coach. He is the owner and co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company. If you dig this and want to learn more from Jordan and The Art of Charm team, then visit


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