by Jordan Harbinger, The Art of Charm
You might think remembering names isn?t all that important, but you’d be wrong. Anyone who says otherwise is just too polite to want to hurt your feelings. It doesn?t matter if you?re kicking game to a lady or talking to a potential business partner, remembering names shows regard and respect. When you don?t remember names, it takes a little bit of the luster out of your game, especially if the other person remembers your name. You can learn tricks to remember names if you have trouble with it. Each works great on itsown,butwhenyoucombinethemalltogether, you?ll become a human Rolodex.
It sounds obvious, but apparently it isn?t. You need to pay attention when the person you?re talking to says his name. ?My name is Hank, what?s yours? isn?t a conversational formality, you actually want to know the answer. So, make it a point to focus your attention when the person gives you an answer. This will get you off on the right foot with regard to remembering the person?s name.
Repeat, Repeat, Repeat
After the person gives you their name, look at them and repeat it in your head three times. You should then use the person?s name as often as is comfortable during the early stages of conversation. Throwing in something simple like ?Thanks, Julie, great to meet you? will help you remember. If you ask someone to spell their name it will also help the name to stick out in your head, especially if you repeat the name back to them when they?re done spelling it.
Visualizations and Other Tricks
There are a few tricks (that aren?t actually tricks at all) to help you remember a person?s name, even after you?ve initially forgotten it. Get the name, repeat it to yourself, then visualize the name on their forehead for a couple seconds. You can also use the same types of mnemonic devices you used to cram during college Oinals to get the person?s name burned into your brain good. A guy named Jim who has a crazy jacket on can easily become ?Jacket Jim.? If you forget his name later you?re going to remember it pretty quickly after you look at his jacket. Similarly, if Jim?s last name is ?Cartman,? picture him pushing a cart around. It might sound silly, but like a lot of the best mental tricks, it works perhaps speciOically because it?s silly.
The whole point of these exercises is to not forget a name. However, forgetting a name happens. The trick is to own up to it right away when you realize you?ve lost it. Fewer things are more embarrassing than giving the wrong name. If you wait too long, the persona will be offended that you didn?t ask earlier. Take a second to apologize for your mistake and ask the person?s name again. You might feel a bit awkward when you do it, but it?s a lot better than calling ?Jim Cartman? by ?Mike Finn.?
Some Tricks For Forgotten Names
You might not even have to straight up ask the person his name again. There are some ways to deal with forgetting a name that attract less attention to you:
- Ask for the name again. When he says ?Jim,? say that you just couldn?t remember their last name.
- Introduce yourself again. ?I?m Jordan and we met at a party last week? will have Jim Cartman giving his name again.
- Introduce a friend of yours by name. ?Have you met Steve?? will have Jim saying ?No, I?m Jim,? without you having to admit that you can?t remember his name.
Remembered Names Have Power
Remembering a name comes with many advantages. It shows that you are an attentive man with respect for others. It also gives you an edge in social and business situations over people who don?t remember names. By following our tips you?ll be able to be the guy who doesn?t ever forget a name or a face.
Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert and coach. He is the owner and co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company. If you dig this and want to learn more from Jordan and The Art of Charm team, then visit http://www.theartofcharm.com
Image courtesy of Danilo Rizzuti / FreeDigitalPhotos.net